I want to tell you about the day I accidentally staked an entire raised bed with what turned out to be decorative cocktail skewers. Not garden stakes. Cocktail skewers. My Roma tomatoes were practically laughing at me by July. It was my third year gardening, and I’d grabbed what I thought was a fresh pack … Read more
I almost set my backyard on fire trying to make a gift. That’s not a metaphor. There was an actual small fire, a very alarmed squirrel, and my garden hose doing the Lord’s work while I stood there in my bathrobe holding a craft knife and a half-finished set of DIY bamboo wind chimes. And … Read more
I set my alarm for 6 a.m. exactly once in my adult life — and it was entirely by accident. I meant to set it for 6 p.m. (for a nap, obviously), and when it shrieked at me in the pitch dark, I was so disoriented that I stumbled into the hallway and accidentally let … Read more
The water damage showed up on a Tuesday. I remember because I was already having a terrible week — my contractor had just bailed on me mid-project, I’d blown my renovation budget by nearly $800, and now I was standing in my half-finished bathroom staring at a swollen, buckled mess where my brand-new bamboo flooring … Read more
The moment I realized I had installed an entire section of my DIY bamboo garden fence upside down — yes, upside down — was the same moment my neighbor Dave walked over to “see how it was going.” He didn’t say anything. He just stood there, coffee mug in hand, staring at my lopsided creation … Read more
I once used a bamboo cutting board as a makeshift sled lid during a freak October snowstorm. Yes, you read that correctly. I dragged my brand-new, never-been-used bamboo board outside, plopped it under my nine-year-old, and watched him careen down our tiny backyard hill three glorious times before I remembered I’d bought it to chop … Read more
I want to tell you about the afternoon I accidentally glued my hand to a bamboo pole in front of my entire neighborhood. It was a Tuesday. My garden looked like a sad tangle of tomato plants leaning against each other like tired commuters on a subway, and I had decided — with exactly zero … Read more
I still remember standing in my backyard on a Saturday morning, coffee going cold in my hand, staring at my beloved Phyllostachys aurea like someone had thrown a bucket of brown confetti all over it. Dozens — maybe hundreds — of leaves were spotted, yellowing, and dropping to the ground in little papery heaps. My … Read more
I came outside one morning in my pajamas, coffee in hand, ready to admire my beautiful bamboo grove — and found a deer standing inside it, staring at me like I was the one trespassing. We locked eyes. She chewed slowly, deliberately, like she was making a point. That was the moment I knew I … Read more
I stood in my backyard staring at my prized Phyllostachys aurea, and my stomach dropped. The leaves — once a deep, glossy green — had turned a sickly, almost ghostly yellow-white. Not just a few leaves. Nearly the entire grove. I had spent three years and more money than I care to admit building that … Read more